"We have discovered that light is a form of electro-magnetic radiation, as are radio waves," the Chairman told a meeting of the National Association of Illuminators. "Light rays do not respect state lines, so their regulation is clearly a federal matter."

Speaking to reporters after the meeting, a representative of the Compliance and Information Bureau elaborated: "It is necessary to regulate light sources in order to prevent them from interfering with each other. There are only so many colors in the visible spectrum, and if everyone goes around shining lights whenever they feel like it, we'll have complete chaos! Uncontrolled light bulbs could interfere with the vision of airplane pilots and ambulance drivers, and that presents a serious threat to public safety."

The spokesperson offered assurances that obtaining a license would be a simple matter of hiring an optical engineer to perform some measurements, and then filling out a few forms and paying a fee of a few hundred dollars for each light-emitting device. However, colors in the red-to-orange part of the visible spectrum will be auctioned off for industrial uses and will not be available to ordinary citizens.

A proposed "Part 15" rule would allow each citizen to operate one candle without a license, but only if the candle is less than 6 inches tall and no more than 2 inches in diameter. The use of reflectors or lenses with these candles would be prohibited.